


we pardon in the degree that we love

by kiirian



Series: Reflections [1]
Category: Legion (TV)
Genre: AU what if Farouk cared, Farouk's body, Fluff, Gen, M/M, also some corporation drama, and talked and took care of david, and wrote this, between telepaths, got angry after 3rd season, lot's of huggs, talking about boundaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22439140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiirian/pseuds/kiirian
Summary: Having someone always there, inside your head had its perks. Not being lonely, not bumping into things because you were too deep in your thoughts.Even if that someone is some ancient evil entity. You just learn to make it work.
Relationships: Amahl Farouk | Shadow King/David Haller
Series: Reflections [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636309
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	we pardon in the degree that we love

David often wondered why his parents gave him away. He had been an infant, not old enough to cause too much trouble. He could understand his adoptive parents' dismay with him as he grew older. Getting into fights, disappearing for days. An yet they found it in themselves to love him. He thought that maybe his biological parents had seen something in him, something bad and rotten that Amy or his mum or dad couldn't see.

‘You are thinking too much, _joonam_. You are loved now.’

“Yeah, yeah. I just... want to know.”

People looked strangely at him as he passed them while talking to himself. He made a waving gesture towards his headphones with an apologizing smile. Keeping a steady job meant looking like a normal person in public hence the headphones idea. He couldn't remember if he was the one that came up with it or was it Amahl.

“Besides you are stuck with me. So you have to love me.” David looked up at the sky.

Even if his voice didn’t betray how unsure he was of that statement, the fact that he was talking with someone inside his own head made him slip up.

‘My love, you know that I will love you in any form you find yourself. Even if we have never shared a body, I would still look for you.’

David grumbled under his breath, yet he couldn't help but smile. He felt a sudden tug towards the left side of his path. He had nearly clashed with someone going the opposite way which would certainly cause made him spill all of the coffee he was caring.

“Thanks.”

‘Of course.’

Living with someone else in your head had its perks. He could multitask so well that his coworkers often though he was taking Adderall. Telepathy also had helped him a lot. There were times when he put a pillow over his head to stifle the noise. When voices were so loud, he couldn't even hear Amahl. He hated it. It made him feel alone in the worse sense.

‘You are doing it again, dearheart. Focus on your task. After all, this is your dream.’

“Well, not a dream really. It’s just a day job.”

‘You care about it. And if you care so do I.’

David smiled to himself. He reached his office in a record time of 10 minutes. He saw a tall, handsome man entering through the main entrance. He was just a few steps ahead and was taking his sweet time with holding the door open. David sped up his pace. With five coups of coffee, there was no way he could enter that door without help.

“Please, wait up!”

The man turned. He looked young even with white strands of hair peeking from underneath black. He looked at David with cold eyes and a slight sneer.

‘An intern. Great. If he spills his coffee over me, I am going to kill him.’

Even though his thoughts were rather ugly the man waited for David and let him through. A polite smile stretched over his face. It looked alien, like his muscles weren’t used to making that face.

“Thanks.” David also smiled.

There was no use in showing he knew the man’s real thoughts.

‘Disgusting’ Amahl added with a sneer.

David passed through the door and went straight into an elevator. His journey to the 10th floor couldn't be longer. He tapped his foot. Tap. Tap. Floor 5. Tap. Floor 7. Tap. Tap.

‘Breath. They send you after the meeting had started. Unless they have already finished, you will be on time.’

“What if they did?”

‘Then you can give all of your coffee to your boss.’

“You are joking, right?”

‘I’m deadly serious _joonam_.”

David sighted. His hands were so sweaty he was afraid that the coups will slip out of them. Fortunately, the elevator reached his floor. He dashed through the corridor and quickly went into the conference hall. The meeting had yet to reach even the middle point. His boss was quietly seething in her sit while listening to one of the managers. David placed her favourite cappuccino in front of her and then went to take care of the other three. Only members of the upper board got their coffee.

‘A cheap trick. Showing her power by not sharing food or a drink.’

He couldn't answer to Amahal’s comment. He hadn’t fully mastered focusing his thoughts enough to communicate with him without speaking out loud. Which reminded him of the earphones still fully sited in his ears. He tried to discreetly take them out. He could perfectly hear what was going on, but the glare he was receiving from another intern was giving him chills. He put them into a pocket of his suit. He only hoped they wouldn't make a weird visible bump.

‘Focus, my dear.’

Amahl scolded him gently. David turned his thoughts back to the present situation. Right, his boss was listening to the reports from all of the company. She was unhappy with the results. She wanted more. More accomplishments, more money. One of the managers didn’t plan on giving full information. He had done something wrong.

“Yes, and the results.” The director suddenly spoke up.  
Her dark eyes observed every move of the current speaker. She didn’t even blink when the man stumbled over his words.

“Well. We have completed 70% of our tasks. Which with our staff shortage I consider pretty impressive.”

“Impressive? What about that 30% you didn’t do?”

“We have managed to move some deadlines. We will finish them.”

“And you did that without consulting me?”

“I, uh, I know the contractor.”

David looked over the room. Everyone was tense. The director lined back into her chair.

“And you just asked him to move the deadline. This I can call impressive.”

That sparked a memory in the manager. A memory so loud David could hear it over the chatter of all of the minds surrendering him. The manager was talking to another man over beer. They were in a pub. Loud music blasted from speakers. The smell of old wood and tobacco mixed with sweat attacked his nose.

‘Seriously. I’m fucked. That girl left, because and let me quote that bitch I was “ignoring her ideas and making her bring coffee all the time”.’ One of the men in the memory spoke up.

‘So, if she was so bad why are you fucked?’

‘Because we don’t have enough people to complete half of the projects we have. And with her gone, I have fewer people than I ever had.’

The men sipped on their beers. The bitterness. The cold, soothing slide of a drink going down your throat.

‘Okay. So, you said you needed help. What do I have to do with all that?’‘That project you ordered. That of the bridge. Would it be that bad if we pushed the deadline to let’s say... until September?’

‘Three months? I have already been waiting too long for it. After you actually recommended your company and promised to do it yourself.’

‘I know, I know. And I am sorry. My boss is really driving us hard. But once you get it, it will be awesome. You did say it wasn’t a pressing matter, right?’

‘Yeah. A month ago. I want to finally start building that bridge. Not just talk about it.’

‘Please, man. I am already fucked. I swear that I will make this my priority. And I will pay for every beer until we finish that project.’

Another sip. The gold colour of the beer reminded him of flowers. Those that Amahl showed him when they had visited a natural park.

‘Alright. Just finish it. I will focus on another project for now. But maybe start using your employees for something useful instead of making them bring you coffee.’

‘Thank you.’

Like a wave, the memory went back leaving only a sandy image of the present. David blinked a couple of times to clear his vision. He felt like at least 5 minutes have passed but the conversation in front of him hadn’t seemed to move forward.

“I don’t think it is needed to say that what you did was illegal. We have signed a contract. And in that contract, we gave our word that the project will be finished in a month. Now you are telling me you not only can’t deliver but also you went against that legal contract?”

The manager shrunk down in his seat. Yet he didn’t let go.

“I am sorry, madam. But without enough staff, it is impossible to finish all of the work you asked of us.”

The director finally blinked. She knew that there were shortages. That they needed fresh blood. But that didn’t excuse making allegations without her knowledge. Yet if she fired that manager now, they would have even fewer people to work.

“You will finish that project. But know that there will be consequences of your action.” She stated ominously.

The manager nodded. He had no idea what she meant by that. But he was glad. His plan did work out. The conversation moved to another man. He had more positive news. David tuned out the rest of the meeting. He wondered what he should do with the knowledge he had. He could tip the Director off that it was the manager's fault that they didn’t have enough people. If he continued to act the same way they would lose even more employees. David made up a nice story in his head and waited until the meeting was finished. The director asked her direct subordinates to stay, which didn’t include the interns. Yet David stayed back and waited until she noticed him. Her cold eyes settled on him rather quickly.

“You have something to add, Mr...?”

“Haller. And yes. About that guy, you were grilling over.”

“I was what?”

He felt strong amusement coming from the back of his mind. Amahl always found his bluntness endearing.

“The manager who pushed the deadline. I know a girl that worked with him. Her name was...”

That manager was just outside a corner and between one breath and another David was inside his mind. He quickly shuffled his memories and quickly found the right one.

“Kathrine Donwell. She was really good at her job, studied architecture in college.”

Another quick shuffle and he found her job application. The manager was getting into an elevator which meant he would be too far if David needed something else.

‘Don’t worry. I have him.’ Amahl assured him.

“And Yet that guy made her bring coffee. All-day long. She could have finished most of that 30%. She left after being denied once again to do her job.”

“So, you are saying it is his fault.”

“Well, we don’t have too many people. But we should use those we have the best we can.”

“We, huh?” The director smiled. Her smile was so sharp it looked like it could cut.

“Yes. I mean, the company.”

His boss nodded while looking at him. Her thought circled around finding the right solution to the whole problem.

“And that friend of yours. Would she be willing to come back if we offered her a better position?”

David shrugged.

“We haven’t talked about it.”

“Hmm. We can always try. But we will do it officially.” She nodded at her vice-director. “And thank you, Mr Haller. For speaking up.”

“Of course.” David nodded and turned to leave.

“Just remind me, for which position are you aiming for?”

‘The director.’

“I was thinking about the management or acquiring new deals.”

The director nodded slowly. She was observing David, looking for the smallest twitch. He knew that and also, he was used to controlling his body completely. If he didn’t do it there was a possibility that someone else will. Even Amahl couldn't always control them all.

“That will be all.”

With another nod towards his superiors, David left the conference hall. He quickly went into the nearest bathroom. He checked all of the stalls to make sure he was alone before he collapsed on a closed toilet. He finally let the hyperventilation set in. The visions. He still could feel that beer at the end of his tongue. He could still smell the smoke. And all those voices trying to impress a woman who despised them all. He closed his eyes and started rubbing them with his hands. He needed to get used to it if he wanted to use his gift to his advantage. But it was so hard to separate himself from all that he saw there. He felt there.  
There was a light tap on his shoulder. And then a warm hand settled there.

“Oh, my love. Shhh. You are fine. You are here and I am here. We are together. You are David, my David. My darling boy.”

With a muffled sob he let go of his face only to smother it against the soft fabric of Amahl’s shirt. It smelled pristine, like always. It reminded him of the smell of laundry just after his mother hung it to dry. A warm hand settled into his hair. It was big, bigger than his. And strong. He didn’t feel strong at that moment. He felt overwhelmed and lost. Was he in that bar? Did he know Kathrine?

“Shhh. Focus on me. You know I will not lie to you. I will show you what is true.”  
David pressed closer into Amahl’s warmth. The hand in his hair didn’t stop petting him gently. Another was massaging his stiff shoulders. Finally, after a few minutes, he looked up. He met the brown eyes he knew since he could remember. The warmth in them made him feel so much better.

“Open your mind to me, love.”

“You are already inside it.”

“But you are so good at building walls so tall even I can’t climb them.”

With a sight, David let go. He opened all of the doors he closed to keep all those alien memories back. But once he opened those doors it wasn’t the memories that flooded him, but Amahl. His reassurance and his memories of what had happened.

Amahl memories were always clear. He knew how to separate reality from visions.

“They are both real. It’s just the question of what others can see. It is only their fault they cannot see the reality we can.”

David laughed a little.

“It’s good to know your disdain towards others never changes.”

“Why should it? All that matters is you.”

That caused a blush, which David hid against the white shirt. It was wet from his tears.

“I really hope you are not my hallucination.”

“Even if I was, I would still be real for you. But no, my dear. I am real. And once you are ready, we will find my body.”

It was an old dispute of theirs. About what it meant for David to be ready. About his fear of being abandoned by the only hallucination that didn’t try to harm him. Amahl always said he wouldn't leave him behind. But David knew better.

“Well, we will see. Okay, I’m better now. Thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me. My heart breaks every time you cry.”

“Now you are doing it on purpose.”

“What, my dear?”

“Just stop, please.”

With that, David stood up. There was almost no space in the cabin which meant he ended up nose to nose with Amahl. He was taller than his hallucination. It shouldn't matter to him, yet it still made him feel proud.

“As you wish _joonam_.” Amahl smiled and gently togged on David’s hair so their heads would be on the same level.

With a kiss on David’s forehead, he went back into his mind. It felt like slotted back into his place in the great puzzle. David sighed with small relief. It felt weird not to have Amahl guarding his thoughts. Even still he could deny liking their intimacy.

‘I also greatly appreciate it, my dear.’

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks.”

David splashed his face with cold water and made sure he didn’t look too much ruffled. He still had a full day of tasks to finish.

* * *

Later, when he got back into his apartment, he felt only like laying down on his couch and slowly existing. Too much noise, from the outside and the inside. His others were restless. Amahl kept the doors closed for them, but they still rattled against them. Yet as soon as they reached the apartment all of the noise quieted down. The doors stilled and Amahl sighed with relief.

‘You really are strong. Even those parts that aren’t fully conscious can give me trouble.’

“Don’t sound so proud of yourself. It is bad they are strong. Not good.” David scolded him.

‘Maybe. But imagine the power you would have if you joined together.’

“So, this is what you want? Me uniting with those nightmares?”

‘Shhh, my dear. Don’t get too angry. They are a part of you. Which means I also love them.’

“Is that supposed to make me jealous or something?”

‘No. How could you be jealous of yourself? All I am saying is that in any other person this would be called a disease. But in you? It is a miracle. Each and every part of you is beautiful. And strong. Once you join together you will be unstoppable.’

“And how we should join together?” David’ head rolled into the back of his couch.

“That is a thing only you can find out.” Amahl was once again next to him.

In his pristine suit, he sat on the couch. His warm eyes observed David with mirth.

“Now come here, _joonam_. You need to rest and eat. In that order, I think.”

David looked at him. His head was still leaning back which made his perspective tilted. Amahl raised his arm in a clear indication for a hug. Even though the man wasn’t really there the human contact he provided was crucial for David. It was his anchor to reality. These days only Amahl and Amy touched him freely. And his sister thought they had grown out of sibling snuggles.  
He moved slowly, but almost immediately he found himself surrender by strong arms. He lied sideways on the sofa, with his head on Amahl chest. Deft fingers petted his hair. He felt like a cat.

“Maybe a wild cat. A tiger. You are very good at disguising your potential, my dear. But once you find a prey you can strike very precisely.”

“Perks of being a mind reader.”

“You are so much more than that.”

David sighed happily. He needed that contact, those warm hands and a steady heartbeat under his ear. It was one of the things that made him consider looking for Amahl’s body. The concept of having him always next to himself. Of being able to touch him at any given time. But that also meant he wouldn't be there to help David with his mind.

“That’s why we will wait until you are ready. Even if it takes decades. I won’t let you get hurt.” The arms tightened their hold.

“I know. I just... It is hard.”

He thought back to his childhood. To those nightmares of a scary boy who killed his mother and to hands, so many hands, reaching to him through the cracks.

“You are no longer that boy. You are a man. You are stronger.”

“So are they. You said it yourself. They are a part of me. I grow, they grow.”

“Yes. But even as a child you were strong enough to withstand them. Now you are capable of defeating them and integrating them into yourself.”

“Integrating? Like putting them into their boxes?”

“Like talking to them. Like making yourself whole.”

David didn’t have an answer to that. He knew what Amahl meant. He could feel those broken pieces of himself drifting around his mind. Only by having another strong telepath inside his mind he could hold them together. Amahl was like a glue, making sure everything worked. Without him, it would all fall apart.

“I will try. For you. Not having a body is bad. Besides, it feels like something I would need to face one day.”

“Don’t push yourself, my love. We have time.”

Another soft kiss landed on his forehead.

“And what do you think about my job?”

“That director of yours seems like a very strong woman. Being noticed by her was a good thing. She values those who care about the company.”

“Yeah. Let’s just hope I won’t make any stupid mistake. Like spilling coffee all over her or something.”

“That won’t happen. I will make sure of that. Just be careful while talking to her and everything will be alright.”

“I need to find that girl. The one I got hired again. Just to make sure if someone asks about us she will know what to say.”

“If she truly values her work in the company, she will be happy to help. If not, you can always fix her memories.”

“That would be tricky. Remember the last time I did that? It wore off all too quickly.”

David frowned. He needed a backup plan.

“In that case, you can just convince her to go with your story. It will be easier.”

“True. Still, I don’t like it. That going into people’s minds.”

David felt the vibration of a quiet ‘hmm” coming from Amahl. They didn’t talk too much about morals these days. They had settled their disputes about that back when he had been a teenager.

“Alright. Tomorrow I will check when the meeting between that girl and the director is taking place. I will snatch her before it. Sounds good?”

“Sounds perfect. Now rest. I didn’t ask you to lie down just so you could worry.”

“I don’t remember you asking for anything.” David teased before closing his eyes.

Amahl was right. He needed to sleep. And eat. But at that moment he felt too exhausted to make anything. So, he settled down to rest.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he was no longer in his flat. He was in a circular room, sitting at a table. There were doors all around him, each with a heavy lock keeping them closed. He knew that place. He was inside his own mind. All of the doors were painted red. It was a warning sign, a sign that something dangerous lurked behind them. The walls were dark, almost black. It made the doors that much more visible. His chair squeaked under him, cheap plastic moving dangerously. It was the same chair he had in his first apartment. Just like the lightning of the lamp, the place was identical to the ones at his parent's place. He looked up, but just like always there was no ceiling. He could see stars. None of them matched a real constellation.

‘Amahl?’ He called out.

It was so weird to be without the other man. They were always together. Since he was just a little child. Amahl was the first person he could remember. Or maybe it was Amy? Maybe both of them. He wasn’t sure anymore.

‘Hey, hey. Focus!’ Suddenly he was no longer alone.

There was another David sitting in front of him. And the door behind him was wide open. The real David froze for a moment, but after a second he was on his feet getting as far as he could from his other-self.

‘Wait! I don’t want to hurt you. Just to talk!’

That other him didn’t rise from his seat. He only opened his hands as if to show he had no weapon.

‘Why would you even want to talk to me? We had done all the talking back when I was twelve.’

‘Easy there, cowboy. That wasn’t me. It wasn’t any of us, as far as I know.’

‘Amahl said...’

‘Yeah, yeah. What he has told you is what he thinks is true. But tell me, who knows your mind better? This guy, who is ultimately just a guest here? Or you yourself?’

David looked at the other with distrust. He hadn’t been attacked which he considered weird. As far as he knew all the others wanted was to destroy him or make him submit.

‘So, what was it? Why did I have to cower inside my own bed?’

‘Okay, you are listening well. So, listen to this: we are a part of you. Why are we here? Well, you have read about it. Schizophrenia. We are a result. But so were your nightmares. We come from the same place but we are not the same. Got it?’

The other looked at David intently. Like he was trying to convey a deeper thought by just staring at him.

‘No, I didn’t get it. What are you saying is that I should do what? Forgive and forget?’

‘There is nothing to forgive, asshole. We did nothing wrong.’

‘And those hands I’ve been seeing? You are going to tell me it wasn’t you? Trying to get me.’

‘We are trying to get to you!’ The other finally stood up. David looked at him wearily, waiting for an attack to happen. ‘You have your guard dog making sure we all stay in the darkness. But we don’t want to stay there. To be locked up and only witness life in the cracks we have scratched into those nice little doors.’

‘And how did you even get them open, huh?’

‘Well, your little guardian isn’t in, is he? He is making sure that the baby is comfy and warm. And the lock had to give one day.’ The other shrugged.

‘Okay, so you want out. To do what? Control me.’

‘No. Living is hard as far as I’m concerned. I haven’t talked to others for a while, but for me, all that I need is a good view. No more cells.’

David looked around himself. Behind each of the door was another him, stuck in darkness. If that other was telling him the truth all they needed was a little space. Before he could answer he felt a familiar presence next to him.

‘And what do we have here?’ Amahl sounded amused, but his eyes were cold.

He was standing in front of David, shielding him from the other.

‘Uh, hi? I’m not here to steer any trouble. Pinky promise.’ The other rose his hands once again.

‘David, my dear. Do you need any assistance?’

‘No. We are just talking. Apparently, we should change this place into a cinema.’

‘With popcorn.’

Amahl looked between them. The slight frown disappeared from his face.

‘Alright then. I shall leave the two of you to discuss it further. Just call me if you need me.’

With that he once again disappeared, giving them a semblance of intimacy.

‘Thanks.’

‘What for?’

‘Not letting him vaporize me? We both know that look on his face. Like he is going to throw fireballs at people.’

‘We are talking about Amahl. He wouldn't hurt me. Any version of me.’

‘Still, he can be scary.’

David nodded. He loved that man completely, but he often found himself glad not to be his enemy.

‘So, will you think about it? About not locking us up in a dark cellar for once? There is no Hogwarts letter coming for any of us, so we would greatly appreciate being out of there.’

David moved to sit in front of his other. He looked closely at the mirror image of himself. They looked identical. The others even had the same suit on. The one that Amahl had helped him choose.

‘Alright. I will think about it. Just no more banging on the doors. I need to focus on my job for once.’

‘Sure. But if you keep thinking for too long some will get inpatient.’

‘Then talk to them. You guys should form a union or something.’

‘We are a legion. The legion. Legion? I mean we are one and the same but we are many.’

‘Sure. And where does it put me?’

‘Well, you are David. We are a part of you as you are a part of us.’ The other sighed. ‘I can’t put it more simply. For us it makes sense. It is the way it is.’

‘Sure. Okay. Like I said I will think about it. You just go and talk to that other Legion.’

‘So back into the darkness?’

‘At least for now.’

The other nodded and got up. He looked at David one last time before going into the only open door. After it closed David put a lock on it. Then another. And another. After he made sure that it was secured, he woke himself up.

* * *

He was still on the couch. Amahl was still holding him tightly. The lights coming from the outside were dim, making everything look like another dream. The sun had set not too long ago, yet the darkens it left was impenetrable. The street lamps were too weak to fully fight it.

“And how was it?”

“Weird. Talking to someone with your own face is just weird. I’m glad you have your own face.”

Amahl chuckled. He let David move up, so they could see eye to eye.

“Did you let him out?” The younger man sounded uncertain. “The lock couldn't have had disappeared on its own.”

“I would never put you in such a danger. But did I know that something like this may one day happen? Yes.”  
David looked into his eyes, searching for the truth. The warm brown was like always full of love and devotion. As always there was a possibility, he wasn’t telling the full truth. That it was another test for David to show his strength. In the end, though David believed that Amahl would never put him in real danger.

“Okay. So, I have asked them what do they want. They want to see the world through my eyes. They want to have access to the outside world.”

“And would you be willing to give them that?”

“Well, the one I’ve spoken to told me it wasn’t them that scared me back when I was little. That it was just another part of the illness that has created them. Good old-fashioned schizophrenia.”

Amahl blinked. He looked uncertain, analyzing the information he had just gotten. He was certain that the nightmares he was unable to fight off came from David. From his sickness. There were so strong that even someone as strong as he couldn't defeat them. And as some of them slipped by him, the young David suffered. If they were truly a result of his DNA, just like his mutation, that would explain their power.

“That is possible.”

“Yeah, so he told me I shouldn't blame them. That it wasn’t their fault I was sick. More or less.”

“And what do you think about it?”

“I’m used to having someone else in my head. Maybe, once you move out, I should give them the space you will leave behind.”

“ _Joonam_ , I am not going to leave you alone. I will be here, with you. The only thing that will change is that others will be able to see me too.”

“To move to your own body you have to move from mine. That’s obvious.”

“Yes. But our bond will still be in place.”

“Amahl, there is a difference between a bond and living inside the same body.” David cut in impatiently. “If you want to move your own body around you can’t be always checking if mine is alright if my mind is working and if I maybe don’t need ice cream right now. If you want to take care of yourself you can’t be fully focused on me.”

“That is true. And I know that is why you are wary of the idea of me going back to my body.”

“I want to find it. Even though it is you who is keeping us from searching for it. And even though I am scared of the change that will come. I will do it for you.”

“I know, dearheart. But we have gone off-topic. What I want to know is what are you planning to do with those extra passengers inside your mind.”

“For now? Nothing. I have to focus on my work. On getting a good position so I can finally pay back Amy. After that, I can have all of the mental breakdowns I need.”

“Alright then. You should eat now. And maybe shower.”

With a quiet whoosh, Amahl was gone. Not truly gone, he was always at the back of David’s mind. The vision of him disappeared leaving the younger man behind. It was a clear indication that it was time to get up. With a groan, David rose from his couch. There was so much going on at the same time. Of course, just after getting the job he had wanted for ages, his psyche must also throw something at him. It would be too easy to just settle one thing and then move to another. He opened his fridge to look for something to eat. He had some left-overs from the last time he had visited Amy. He put them into the microwave and went on taking his clothes off. He would leave it for dry cleaning the next day. All of the folds he got during his nap were too much trouble for him. His pants didn’t look too bad so he put them on a hanger. He put on a comfy t-shirt and an old pair of pants. They were soft and back in a day he used them for his morning jogs. His current job didn’t give him enough time to even go shopping not to talk about any extra-activity. A ping from the kitchen let him know that food was ready.  
He took it with him to the couch. He had a normal table just next to the kitchen. He only used it if someone was visiting him. Meaning Amy and that one girl he had tried to date before Amahl kissed him. After that, he just went on with being in love with the guy living inside his head. A guy who saw his at his lowest. So, he could eat all of the cheerios without caring how he would look in front of his significant other. His partner saw him during every hangover he had. There was no secret between them.

“Hey, do you think that my others like salty popcorn? Or maybe the sweet one?” He asked between bites.

‘You can always ask them. But from my experience, they probably like the salty one. Because the sweet one is just an abomination if I remember correctly.’

“You do and it is. And it’s weird that you can quote me on that.”

‘There are way too many weird things I can quote you on.’

“Please, not now. Just let me eat me well-deserved supper in peace.”

* * *

He found the girl, Kathrine, just before she entered their building. He cached her arm and quickly rose his arm to still her questions. He needed to catch his breath. He had to run to her just after he had spotted her.

“Okay, hi. My name is David. I want to speak to you about that whole fiasco of your manager.”

She looked him up and down. She was a little bit shorter than him. Her hair was tied back and she had an expensive cloak firmly wrapped around her. Dark eyes observed him sharply. She was thinking about screaming for help at first. A man running towards her and then grabbing her even in the middle of the day spelt trouble. But when she had heard his name a memory clicked into place.

“You are the one that told the director about me. About this whole case.”

“Yes. Damn it, you have already spoken about it?”

Kathrine nodded. She no longer looked spooked, but more curious.

“Wait. Let’s move from here.” David lead her by her arm a few meters from the entrance.

“How did you know about it? I’ve been told that a colleague of mine, named David, has spoken to the board about it.”

“Oh. Okay. So, I have been in a bar recently.”

“That’s... fine?”

“No, no. Listen. I was in a bar when I saw that manager of yours. I don’t know everyone at the company, so I didn’t recognize him. He was talking very loudly about some girl that quitted after some argument with him. And later there I am, just delivering coffee and I hear him complaining how it is not his fault that he hasn’t got enough people to do the job.”

“That jerk! An argument? He told me I could go and work as a cashier because with my face I couldn't even be a striper.” She sounded agitated.

David was glad he had let her arm go a moment earlier. It was easier to block people’s memories when he wasn’t touching them. He used every ounce of will he had not to be sucked into her memory. He could smell the perfume she had used on the day she had that argument. A southing feeling of Amahl guarding his minds brought him back to reality.

“Seriously? Do tell that to the director. He didn’t mention that while drinking with his buddy.”

“I sure will. I will get his ass fired and ask for his position. So, what do I tell them if they ask how we know each other?”

“I told them we are friends. So just go with it.”

“Sure. Thank you. If not for you I would have to start somewhere from scratch. Here I can not only get my revenge but also not be an intern again.”

“Hey! I’m a very happy intern.”

She smiled at him. There was still anger in her eyes, but it wasn’t focused on him. No, she had her target and she was sure to deliver. For a second she looked unsure before a new resolve settled into her mind.

“I will get you to my team once I get that position.”

“I do hope so.”

With that, she once again smiled at him and turned towards the entrance.

‘That was a clever way of dealing with our little problem.’

David put on his headphones and moved towards the door. He still had a full day of working ahead of him. But he did feel lighter somehow. Like he not only achieved what he had wanted but also got a little bonus at the end.

“Yeah, sometimes telling a little bit of truth can get you a long way.”

Amahl was the only one he was fully truthful with. There was no sense in lying to him. Besides there was also no need, the man loved him no matter what he did.

‘And accruing a friend with a higher position always pays off.’

* * *

David tried to visit his sister every weekend. She lived with her fiancée not far from him. She had even proposed that he could live with them. Get a little room in the basement. He politely refused. His apartment was small but he could talk with Amahl there, be touched by him without any weird looks from anyone. Yet if they had too much to drink or stayed up too late watching some old show he often slept there if only for one night. Sometimes they just talked for hours, after the fiancée went to sleep. David often thought about telling Amy about Amahl. Sharing with his sister that there was someone who also loved him. Who wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. But since there was nobody, there was no proof. And he had spent enough time proving Amy that he was alright. That his teenage angst was just that. No more breaking police cars. No more acting out.

“And? Did she get his position?” Amy was sitting on the brink of her sit.

“I think so. I’ve seen her twice this week. Just in passing, but at least I’m sure she is back in the company.”

His sister looked upset. Her neatly shaped eyebrows were scrounged up. It broke the illusion of a perfect housewife she put up with her long skirt and sleeved shirt.

“I’m glad. How can people be like that? And later complain? Dear God.”

“It’s the world of business. That’s why we aren’t a part of that, honey.” Her fiancée chimed in.

“Also, that guy was just a dick.”

“I hope so. If everyone there is like that, I don’t think it’s a good place to work.”

David thought back to the guy who let him through the door. To that hidden sneer.

“Naah. There are good people there.” He said with a reassuring smile.

“And how is your work? Besides helping that poor girl of course.”

“I. Amy, I don’t know how to say it.” David waited a few seconds. Not too long so his sister wouldn't really start to worry. “Amy, I got a promotion.”

She quickly moved forward to stand in front of him. She hugged him with a strength he hadn’t expected from her. He was still sitting so it felt a little awkward but he still hugged her back. She smelled the same way their other did. She had stolen her perfume since she was a little girl and had like them until that day.

“Congratulations. I am so proud of you. I really am.” She whispered into his hair.

“Yeah. Thanks. It turned out my meddling actually paid off.”

She moved back to her seat. The fiancée nodded at David with a smile.

“Congratulations, man. It’s good to see you climbing that ladder.”

David nodded back with a smile. He could hear the undertone of ‘you finally giving us back our money’, but he let it slide. He focused on Amy, on how happy she was for him.

“Then a celebration is in order. We don’t have champagne, but maybe a good scotch will suffice.”

He felt Amahl stir at those words. While David preferred beer, his partner was always up for a glass of good scotch.

“Sure. But be sure to put some ice into it.”

“A connoisseur!” The fiancée teased.

“If you drink enough in collage you get your preferences,” David answered.

He made sure not to learn that man’s name. Even he had heard Amy say it, he made sure to forget it. That man was so annoying.

“Can you bring the scotch? I will take care of the glasses.” Amy turned to her partner before getting up.

“Sure thing, hon.”

They left him alone for a minute. He let his legs stretch and took a deep breath. He didn’t have to be the next day. He had time.

‘You can relax. I will look after us.’

David felt like voicing a quip about Amahl being the one to really enjoy their coming drink. He stopped himself because he could still hear his sister talking in the kitchen. But he got the feeling Amahl like always knew what he was thinking about by just sensing his feelings.

“Here you go.” Amy appeared next to him. She was carrying a glass filled in half with ice clinking inside.

David accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks. So. How are you? I’ve been talking for hours.”

She sat in front of him. There was additional glass for her partner, but he was taking his sweet time in the kitchen. Amy looked towards it, before answering with a lowered voice.

“I’m thinking about a wedding date. That we should finally tie the knot.”

“Really!” David lowered his voice when he saw her panicked eyes. “But why are we whispering about it?”

“I just. I don’t know how to start that conversation. I want to have a wedding. To have you walk me to the altar. But what if he says we still have time? That he wants to wait? Or that he just doesn’t want it?”

She played with her glass but kept checking on the kitchen door to make sure their conversation stayed private.

“Amy. You are already stressed about it. Getting the answer will either prove you wrong and make you the happiest girl alive or it will prove you right and make you move beyond that.”

She looked at him clearly surprised. Her hands stilled as she mulled his words.

“Yes. You are right to thank you.”

“Sure.”

“You should be a psychologist.” She told him with raised eyebrows and a teasing smile.

He didn’t have the heart to tell her he just plucked that thought from her own mind. That he had told her just what she wanted to hear.

“Did I miss something?” The fiancée entered.

“No, no. We were just talking about what I will be doing as a full-time, full-paid junior assistant.”

The conversation moved from that. While Amy talked about her week and annoying clients, she had David sipped slowly on his drink. Just as he thought he could feel Amahl clearly enjoying it. He visualized the other man as a big animal, probably a cat of some sort, stretching his back utterly satisfied with his catch.

‘You may be a tiger, my love, but also consider myself a predator.’

That caused David to think very strongly about big, fat house cats. He could feel the chuckle that didn’t even belong to him rise in his throat. He swallowed it down. Amy was still talking and he knew that sudden bursts of laughter weren’t a good idea.

David drunk the whole bottle of scotch with them before deciding to stay the night. Amy showed him downstairs, even though she knew he knew the way. She used it as an occasion to talk to him a little longer.

“I am really proud of you. You have achieved so much. I’m glad those meds are working, that you are feeling better.”

David froze for a second, before putting on the best smile he could muster. He was tired and a little drunk. He didn’t feel like having another conversation full of half-truths and outright lies. Still, he turned to his sister.

“Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are. To think I’ve finally found something that actually helps.”

Amy smiled at him.

“Three times is a charm. Or more like thirty. No matter, all that is important is your happiness.”

She got closer and hugged him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She let him go and turned to leave.

“Have a good night.”

She told him before leaving. Once the doors closed, he sighed. It felt more like all of the air had left him. He would have just fallen to the bed if not for Amahl support.

‘Come now, love. Take off your clothes and then you can sleep.’

With his help in stirring his hands in the right direction David got off everything besides his boxers and crushed into the bed. He could feel the shits covering him and someone settling beside him as he fell asleep.

“Good night, _joonam_.”

* * *

It felt like only minutes had passed before he opened his eyes again. He was once again sitting inside his own mind. All of the doors were still there. One of them was different though. A blue light was coming from it, surrendering it like a halo. He wasn’t alone this time. Amahl stood beside him, looking disturbed.

‘It seems that some part of you has become rather agitated.’

‘Can’t you just lock them up?

‘I think it would be better if you talked to them. If you feel like it, of course.’

‘A suggestion that’s not a suggestion. Great.’

‘If you don’t want to...’

‘Yes, yes. We both know if you say it like that, I will do it. Just to see what got you so agitated.’

David stood up. He moved towards the glowing doors. With a quick flick of his wrist, the lock disappeared and the door opened. Inside he saw another version of himself, bound to a chair with a rope. That other was moving erratically, trying to get out of his binds.

‘Fucking finally! Come on, help me you asshole!’

His feverish gaze settled on Davin. He didn’t stop squirming but was using his head to indicate the rope tying him.

‘What? Why?’

‘Because. We. Have. To. Talk. Asshole.’

The other moved to Amahl. A wide smile stretched over his face. It looked almost too big for his face.

‘And you. Oh, you. Keeping us in the dark, until you are going to leave us all. Playing a nice boyfriend, getting to David, only to use his body. And not even in a fun way.’

David blinked. It was unsettling to see someone with the same face as him tear into the man he loved.

‘Just shut up. I’m untying you, okay. But only if you shut up.’

The other did just that. He wasn’t looking at David though. He was observing Amahl. The thing was that he was being observed right back. The older man was watching every move of the creature sited in front of him.

‘Okay, you are free. For now. Tell me what the hell do you want so I can go back to being asleep.’

‘What do I want?’ The other cached David’s gaze. ‘What I want in the world. World domination, baby.’

He stood up and started pacing around the room. He glanced towards Amahl and David from time to time but didn’t stop talking.

‘You keep yourself so tightly bound it’s a wonder you can even breath. That guy‘ he mentioned towards Amahl’ Tries to unwind you, but you still keep in. All of the power. It just bounces off walls. Sure, he gets to keep some of it as his. But the rest just bounces. And bounces. And bounces. And one day it will explode. You will explode.’ The other stopped and looked at David.

‘We could be kings of the fucking universe. And all that you do is going to some stupid job and acts as a what? A servant? And then, like a knight on a white horse you go and help a girl. Only for her to completely forget about you. Newsflash asshole. You are wasting our time.’

‘And who are you to say that?’ David stepped closer. He was fuming. ‘You say I can rule the world. Do whatever I want. Well, I want that job. If I can be whatever, then fucking let me be what I want to be.’

That threw his other off. He looked at David like he had seen him for the first time in his life.

‘You think I don’t know how fucking annoying and useless that job is? That I don’t want to scream at people? Or just go to my boss and tell her “Hey, I'm a telepath. I can help you get all of the deals you want.”?’

The other stepped closer until they were nose to nose.

‘So, why don’t you do it?’

‘Because I have some self-preservation. I have been to enough hospitals...’

‘Stop with that shit. Excuses. You won’t let us out because you are afraid. You won’t reach for what you want because you are afraid. Stop being so goddam scared you coward.’

‘I won’t let you out because you will try to break me. Again.’

‘No, we won’t. That wasn’t us. It was that funny little illness you have your mommy to thank for.’

‘What?’

The other looked at him smugly.

‘You don’t even know. Why your dear mommy gave you away?’

‘Of course, I don’t. And if I don’t know, neither should you.’

‘But you should know. Because he knows.’

David turned quickly to look at Amahl. His partner was still standing next to the door. When he met David’s gaze there was an apology written all over his face.

‘I am sorry, my love.’

‘So, you know why?’

David could feel tears welling up in his eyes. That was what he wanted the most. To know. He turned to his other.

‘Tell me. Tell me and you will be free.’

A wild glee appeared on the other’s face.

‘Well, it’s quite simple. You were too loud. And he planted a small seed of an idea into her head.’ He motioned towards Amahl.

‘Don’t lie.’ The older man interjected. ‘It wasn’t me that made David cry. I only tried to keep him safe.’

‘From what?’ David turned back do Amahl. ‘From my parents?’

‘Yes.’ Amahl moved closer to them. With a quick move of his hand, he got a memory out of his head.

It looked like a small candy.

‘Just look.’

David took it from him. He was wary, but he still swallowed it quickly.  
He saw a nursery in the attic. There was a baby there, one he assumed to be himself. It was playing with its foot and giggling. He could see a faint outline of Amahl standing over the crib, making faces towards the baby to make it laugh. He caught on that it was the memory of his partner. But then the baby started crying. It moved a little to one side and something spooked it. Amahl did his best to calm it down, but it seemed like he couldn't actually affect it. There were footsteps coming from the hall. Soon a woman appeared.  
‘Mommy?’ David asked.

He didn’t get any answer. The woman checked on the baby, checked its diaper. Once she was sure there was no visible problem she started cooing and softly talking to the toddler. She even picked it up and carried it around the room. The baby didn’t stop crying. At some point, the sound of a phone was heard. She quickly put the baby down and run out of the room. She talked to someone, while the memory of Amahl once again tried to calm the baby down. He was doing a pretty good job at it until the woman appeared again. She seemed upset. Her sudden appearance once again set the child off.

‘Oh, shut up!’ She screamed at the child. ‘For once, just shut up!’

She kicked some toy laying on the floor before collapsing into a chair next to the crib.

‘Daddy is too busy to come back home. His research is too important.’ She spoke to the child as if she couldn't hear its cries.

‘So, we have to make do by ourselves.’

With that, she left. The child continued its cries until Amahl didn’t pacify it with his golden watch.

The memory slowly faded. His Amahl was wiping tears out of his face slowly.

‘Your mother was ill. You father leaving her alone for days only made it worse. I was the one to plant the idea of finding you a new family into your mother’s mind. She was getting worse and worse. Your father wasn’t there to see that. I didn’t make her do it. But once she saw how poorly she was taking care of you she decided to do it.’

‘Why didn’t you plant a different idea then? Or cured her? You are supposed to be all-powerful.’ David moved back.

‘I was too weak. It was just after my defeat. And the seed of the idea could only put roots down if it wasn’t opposed to her own feelings. I couldn't do anything else. ‘

The other shrugged.

‘Your weakness cost us a family.’

‘We have Amy.’ David shook his head. ‘But why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Once again, my weakness made me choose something, I deemed the least dangerous. I was afraid you would hate me. That you would despise me for taking you away. ‘

David looked between his other and Amahl.

‘You guys are free.’ He told his doppelganger. ‘And you. I just. I get it. I really do. But you have kept that secret from me for how many years? How many times have I cried into your shirt, screaming about my biological family?’

‘Too many. And I am sorry. I truly am.’

‘Great. Just great. Okay. Get ready. Tomorrow we are going for your body. I don’t feel like sharing this any moment longer.’

With that, David shut down Amahl’s connection to his conscious.

* * *

Journeying through a desert wasn’t lots of fun. David thought it would be the sun that got first to him. Its rays scorched his skin and warmed the air. The sand looked white from the amount of light it was reflecting. Looking for too long at it made dark spots appear in David’s vision so he kept his gaze on the horizon. It was the air that made it almost unbearable. It was so hot that even breathing it in made his lungs burn. The smell of his own sweat mixed with an aroma of dry earth and pure heat burrowed into his nostrils. The wind didn’t bring any reprieve. It was warm. And was the only thing that disturbed the silence of the fields surrendering him. That and also his curses as he slipped down another dune.

‘We should just levitate over it.’ Spoke up one of the voices.

‘Or just obliterate it. Who needs this desert?’ Answered another.

‘What about Amahl’s body? We don’t want to destroy it. We want to find it.’

‘He is smart. He probably hid it somewhere safe. Away from the sun.’

‘It wasn’t him who hid it, you dumbass. He was buried when he thought he died.’

‘Well if you bury someone, you do it underground. So, if we get rid of the upper layer we won’t hurt him.’

“Can you guys not talk so loudly? I am trying to think here.”

David frowned at the horizon. He felt that he was getting closer. He felt tinging in his body, stronger with each step in the right direction.

‘What do you have to think about? Just get to his body.’

‘Yeah. And later let’s get something to eat. And world domination. We have to talk about world domination.’

“Seriously? I’ve already told you. No world domination until Amy is alive. We, I mean I, I worked so hard to look normal for her. We aren’t fucking that up.”

‘Buzzkill. Fine. She will be alive for what? Fifty years? What're fifty years? Amahl is way over that.’

‘We need that. That not getting old stuff. We would look horrible with grey hair.’

‘And he has to teach us some of his mind tricks. But that’s after we punish him.’

‘We need to punish him. He lied to us. We can always scream on him.’

‘Throw some plates.’

David stopped walking. The sun was setting and the tingling hadn’t grown any stronger for the past minutes. He decided to take a break and just like that a tent appeared. It looked like a tent he used to have with Amy. Not a very interesting green with specks of yellow in places where the colour had faded. The setting sun made the colours even duller. He could feel the temperature dropping very quickly. He quickened his pace. He looked at the setting sun, on its reds and yellows. He thought back to everything he went through with Amahl at his side. He was hurt. The betrayal of trust hurt like an opened wound. And it came from someone who was supposed to never lie to him. He felt angry, betrayed and used. But in some distant part of himself, he could understand it. That Amahl did what he did because he thought it had been the best course of action. David had done the same for his sister since he could remember.

“We aren’t throwing plates at him. We are going to have a civil conversation about boundaries. Like real adults do.”

‘Boring.’

‘Since when are we so boring?’

“Since we want to have a normal relationship. Now shut up. I want to sleep and I can’t do that with you all screaming.”

He went inside the tent. There was a duvet there, lying on the floor waiting for him. The pulsating pain coming from his feet was creeping upwards. He took off his jacket and sat down. He thought about taking off his sneakers but the prospect of accidentally getting more sand into them discouraged him. He lied down and used his jacket as a makeshift blanket. With his thoughts finally silent he was left alone with only himself. There were no arms around him. No gentle voice speaking in Farsi about their day and wishing him sweet dreams. He was alone. For the first time. He curled up around himself. There was no one. His others didn’t understand. They were always many. He could feel tears forming in his eyes and thought about calling Amahl. But then a thought came to him. After this, he wouldn’t be able to do it. After he got him his real body there would be no insurance that Amahl would be there for him. That posed a question for him, should he use that last chance or try to be alone for the first time. He lied there thinking. He curled up tighter around himself, using his own hands to hug himself as a semblance of comfort he knew.

“Amahl.” He finally resigned. “Can you... Can you hold me?”

What was left of the available water in his organism left as a tear. There was a moment of silence when even the wind from outside quieted down. Then there was a presence next to him. Still quiet. An arm covered in the fabric that he knew so well went around his middle. Soft like silk but warm. It looked expensive and by the touch, he had felt on his naked skin many times before it felt expensive. He curled up around himself even tighter. The smell of the desert finally faded, overtaken by musk and a distinct smell of cologne. The warmth radiated from Amahl, warming David’s still form. It shielded him from the cold but also fought off the coldness he felt within himself since his confrontation with Amahl. He felt like crying. Instead, he turned around and burrowed into the warmth. Without a word he decided to take any comfort since it could be the last time, it was offered.

* * *

He had sand everywhere. In his boots, in his underwear, in his mouth. There was so much of it he worried he would never get it out. But his journey through the desert was coming to its end.  
‘It should be somewhere near here.’ Amahl informed him quietly.

“Good.”

David went up another sandhill. He didn’t know how long he had been travelling since the sun hadn’t moved for the last few hours. He could only judge the distance he had made by how tired he was and that tingling in his body. While the tingling had gotten stronger and stronger, he had also grown weary. Letting his others in, the Legion as they called themselves, wasn’t a mistake per se. It was more like letting a couple of children occupy your mind. They commented on everything that happens but could be silenced if he offered them a treat or threatened them with a time-out. Amahl only spoke up if he had something of value to their journey to share. David felt both full of voice, but at the same time lacking the once he needed most.  
Another step. But this one instead of connecting with a bunch of sand just met air. David was falling. Down. And down. It was Amahl quick reaction that saved him from a broken neck. He cushioned the fall, making the ground feel like a soft mattress.

‘It’s in here.’

David got his baring back. They were in a tunnel, somewhere deep inside the earth.

‘Told you it would be underground. It is called burying.’ One of the voices quipped.

‘They were so scared of him. How powerful he is. They have never believed he was truly gone.’

“Quiet.” David reprimanded them before moving forward.

The tunnels were high enough for him to walk freely. They seemed smoothed out by some great force. There was no debrief laying around, no roots coming from underneath.

‘Turn left.’ Amahl instructed him.

His voice was still gentle as ever but there was an undertone of excitement. He tried to conceal it, but the thought of being one with his own body was too much. To be able to touch David with his own hands. Soon enough David found himself in a big room. It was dark, but the torches gave enough light for him to notice a coffin sitting in the middle of the room. It was white, looked like marble. And inside it, he could see Amahl resting. It was weird to see the same man he had known for so long just lying there dead. It unsettled him. He got closer and soon enough he was leaning over the coffin. He took Amahl’s sunglasses off before gently connecting their lips. He could feel a part of himself transferring from one body to another. It felt like a part of him was being torn out, but not wholly. There were still strands connecting them. But they were no longer the same person. Strength started to leave him, he could see darkness sipping in. The panicked voices of his others were the only indication he needed to know he was losing consciousness. Just before he fell, he felt a pair of arms keeping him upright. Before he knew it, he was sitting at the edge of the coffin.

“David, my dear boy. My love. You did it. You are alright. We are alright.” The voice sounded different coming from another’s man mouth.

Just like his touch felt different. It was no longer David’s mind playing trick on him, there was another person sitting next to him. Worn hands glided over his face, his back and sides. Amahl didn’t seem to get enough of touching him. A gentle pat to his hair. A touch to his cheek. But David was too tired. He only wanted one thing. His bed.

“Just take me back home.” Even before he ended that sentence, he found himself back in his apartment.

“Huh?” He blinked surprised.

They were sitting on his couch. Just like they did the week before. Amahl was still holding him tight to his chest.

“You smell like dusty.”

“It seems that being stuck underground didn’t do wonders to my body or my wardrobe.”

David moved back to fully look at the man. He was the same as always. Dark eyes looking at him with wonder, laughing lines around his mouth and eyes. The small moustache precisely trimmed over his upper lip. The suit felt different. Like it really did spend time in a very dry place for at least 30 years. And those hands. He brought one of them closer to look at it. It was more worn than the one Amahl projected into his mind. He decided to tease him about it later. After they have slept.

“It’s time for a shower. For both of us. And no funny business. I’m still mad at you, but I need good cuddling and tomorrow we are going to have a long chat about boundaries and what you can and cannot keep from me.”

If David didn’t know him so well, he wouldn't have been able to tell how relieved it made him. Amahl’s face suddenly smoothed out, a frown that kept his forehead wrinkled and his mouth set disappeared. It looked like clouds dissolving only to bring the sun.

“Of course, my love.” The older man kissed his brow and then moved up from the couch.

He was still holding David’s hand. He gently tugged on it. They both moved towards the bathroom, where after discarding his old clothing Amahl stood in front of the mirror examining his own face. David did a quick memory scan, looking for anything he could lend to another man to wear. He was taller than Amahl and thinner, but there were some too big t-shirts and shorts that would fit the other man. He couldn't wait to see him in such clothing.

“Any changes?” He asked.

“No, I don’t think so. But it is weird. To look into the mirror and see only me.”

They both could feel it. How not being in the same body changed them. David shrugged and went on taking his own clothes off. Just like he thought, sand poured out of everything he took off. He decided to take care of it the next morning. They both moved into the shower together. They were both tired and the novelty of having different bodies made them both spend too much time just mapping the other’s body. Technically it wasn’t the first time they saw each other naked. It wasn’t the first time they showered together. But the feeling was different. Water no longer passed through Amahl like he wasn’t there. And the skin on skin feeling had also changed. They spend more time just brushing against each other than actually washing. The cold water that suddenly attacked David’s heated skin reminded him of that.

“Damn it. Okay, that’s enough.” He moved out of the shower and quickly got a towel wrapped around himself.

He passed another one to Amahl. He walked over their discarded clothes and went into the bedroom to look for something to wear. Just like he thought there were some old t-shirts he had. He tossed them onto the bed before changing into his own pyjamas. Amahl followed after him and after seeing his new clothing sighed.

“You are doing it on purpose, aren’t you _joonam_?”

“Put them on or you will catch a cold.” David answered while trying not to look too satisfied.

The older man didn’t look that much ridiculous. Just a little bit. David couldn't wait to bring him into a convenience store. Or that cheap restaurant with the best hamburgers in town. Amahl smiled at him, probably sensing his thoughts. Even though David was still pissed at him, he couldn't help loving that man. They needed to have a serious chat, but that would wait until tomorrow.

“Sleep now. You can do whatever you want to me tomorrow.” Amahl moved towards the bed.

It was another weird thing. To see him move around on his own, not just appear wherever he wanted. David moved after him and soon they were both lying under the covers. Curled up against each other like always.

* * *

Their argument took place over fresh coffee and bagels Amahl got out of thin air.

“So, you lied to me. About not knowing what made my mum snap? And you let me suffer, kept me in the dark just because you thought it was the best for me. Did I get anything wrong?”

Amahl was sitting next to him on the couch. He still had his mismatched t-shirt and pants on which made him look much softer.

“You aren’t wrong. I tried to lessen the strain that uncertainty had on you. But I admit it was foolish of me not to tell you the truth. Once again I apologies.”

“I don’t want your apologies. You will get my forgiveness because I love you. But you have to work for it. We are going to set down some rules and after that time will tell.”

Amahl perked up at the mention of forgiveness and nodded enthusiastically.

“Whatever you want, my love.”

“Rule number one: no more secrets. Before I was scared a little, that having full access to your mind would completely destroy the barriers between us, that we would lose ourselves but also each other. Now we have bodies to go back to. So, I want full access to your mind just like you have to mine. If I find any barrier, I am going to break this whole thing off.”

Amahl looked unsure, but he nodded.

“You should know I am not a good person. What you will see may change how you feel about me.”

David snorted into his cup.

“Amahl. You killed a bully when I was what, ten? And then hid his body so well they are probably still looking for it. I know you aren’t a good person. But neither am I.” He took another sip of coffee. “Now, rule number two. We don’t leave each other for too long. I am not going to worry about you abandoning me for too long if you are always, there right?”

“If I can add something.” Amahl waited until David nodded.” Well, the bond we will have after you have full access to my mind will be so strong, we will feel it no matter how far from each other we will be. So even if you feel like going to work, we will still be connected. I would be able to feel what you fee. And vice-versa.”

“Cool. Still, if you have a body now, I would prefer to keep it close.”

“And rule number three?”

“If they become too much, the others, you are going to help me. They all seem to have a soft spot for you. So, if mine style of parenting doesn’t work out you are going to step in.”

Amahl nodded in agreement.

“I don’t think this even needs discussing. I will help you, however, I can.”

“Just like you did with my mum? This is exactly why we are talking about it. So, we have clear rules and unless something really bad happens we know we can trust each other. Now, do you promise to follow them?”

Amahl moved closer. He took one of David’s hand into his own and put his right hand over his heart.

“I swear to you, on everything that I am and on my love to you that I will follow those three rules.”

It felt like some brand was burned into their minds. Once it was done David could feel Amahl just next to himself. Not in the physical sense, even though the other man was still holding his hand. There was warmth surrendering him but instead of it coming into his mind he was the one delving into it. Soon he found himself inside Amhahl’ mind, looking through the hundreds and hundreds of years of living. He wasn’t a good man, there were many bad things he had done. But keeping an unjust ruler as a pet to reminder made David smile. It was such a petty thing to do that it suited Amahl completely. He could see his own father for the first time. And he could watch how his father battled the man he loved. And later he could see himself, feel how it was for Amahl to see his beloved boy screamed at or just ignored by his own mother. Saw as David’s teenage hormones affected over a thousand-years-old man. When David came back to himself there were tears on his face and a gentle presence around him. At the same time, he was also around Amahl, their minds twisted together like a big, complicated knot.

“That was... something. A lot of something.” David concluded.

Amahl took the hand he was holding to his lips to kiss it.

“You have seen me, my beloved. Seen who I really am. And what judgment will you pass? Am I worthy of you?”

Without hesitation David moved forward, taking his hand away from Amahl’s grip. Instead, he kissed the other man, fully and with a passion he didn’t even know he head.

“You keep calling me yours, but what you don’t understand is that you are equally mine. Without me, you would have died. Just the same as without you I would have gone insane. We are each others. And no matter what it won’t change. There will be some drawbacks because you can be a manipulative bastard and I can be stubborn, but in the end, we are the only ones that truly know each other. Also, I will bring you to family dinners. So, you can enjoy that scotch you seem to like so much.”

“And entertain your sister and her fiancée? You truly wish to punish me.”

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am a little bit late to the show for this show (ha). Still, I wanted to write something where the Farouk we get in the 3rd season was like that from the start. Because he wasn't. Also lots of my own craving for hugs. Hope you had fun


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